Student of life

When I feel anxious I reach for a thing to distract me from the sensation. The thing I turn to for relief in return gives me anxiety… I repeat the cycle. Until I see the cycle. 

I don’t just see it once and stop forever, oh no… That’s not how this works. 

This challenge, this loop, habit, and behavior become my teacher. It is a lesson in and of itself to even catch a glimpse of my ways, and see how I participate in being stuck. 

If I want relief, perhaps I chose momentary suffering to break the addiction to what I turn to when I am uncomfortable feeling human. 

I noticed this one thing, this one attempt to distract myself… I’m curious how many more ways am I the one keeping myself stuck? Repeating habits and living the symptoms and consequences of my behaviors?

The question transforms you into a student of self, and life is your school.